Last Monday afternoon, I held Micah's body in my arms for some time after he passed away. I combed by hands through that long, blond hair that we are so fond of. I wept and wept along with my parents, Heather's step-father, my brother Scott and Pastor Kenny Stokes.
After a number of minutes, Scott read aloud to us the following passage from Romans, Chapter 11, New Living Translation:
33 Oh, how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!34 For who can know the LORD's thoughts? Who knows enough to give him advice?*35 And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back?* 36 For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.
One of my greatest struggles over the past week has been to somehow "justify" my son's death through a tangible type of result--evangelism, a certain number of people being saved, etc. But the Lord has shown me that my grief is so great that I cannot possibly find reasons that are sufficient, at least in my own mind, to justify his passing.
Someday, I will ask Him why --why did you take away my treasure, the miracle that you provided to us? Why the happiness and joys of 9 wonderful months, only to have it lost to the pain of death? I trust that someday I will know why. For now, I can only trust in His promises and grieve. And grieve. And grieve the loss of my most beloved little son.
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Cory and Heather I learned of Micah's passing from our daughter Cara. I to lost a sibling, a sister that was 16yo at the time. I remember that pain and can only imagine what it must feel like to loose a child.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord gave me this message:
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”
“O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!”
The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Jeremiah 1:4-8
Note verse 5
God knew Micah, as he knew Jeremiah, long before Micah was born or even conceived. HE thought about Micah and planned for Micah. When you feel discouraged or sad, remember that God has always thought of you as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for you.
We can only imagine the pain and grief our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ must feel when one of his creations departs this world in a lost condition headed for Hell and complete and total separation from Him.
Teresa and Micah were taken from us while they were young. I think that He needed them to give him some happiness and that He is running that nail scared hand through that long blond hair.