Mourning for Micah: Strength for Each Day

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Strength for Each Day

Two weeks ago this morning, Micah stopped breathing and was rushed to Children's Hospital, where he died the next day. We are so overwhelmed by grief that we have been unable to plan our lives in the absense of our little boy. It is difficult to plan one day ahead. We have found that it is too overwhelming to think of going through our future without our little boy. The thought of going through weekends, upcoming family events, Micah's birthday, the holidays, and EVERYDAY is awful.

Instead of looking to the future, we have tried to live day-by-day, moment-by-moment. We are constantly bombarded by anger, despair and deep emptiness. We have found that we need to constantly immerse ourselves in the promises of scripture. To hold on to Jesus. To trust that he will give us the strength to keep going.

Psalm 73:6 says,
Whom have I in heaven but you
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart [and my son Micah] may fail
BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

We have found that our only hope for the future is to trust that God gives us the strength to make it through each day. Our future is centered around the strength that God provides us through Jesus Christ. At Micah's funeral, one of the hymns we sang was "Day by Day."

Day by Day, and with each passing moment
Strength I find to meet my trials here.
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment
I've no cause for worry or for fear
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure.
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me
He whose name is Counselor and Pow'r
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid
As they days, they strength shall be in measure
This is the pledge to me He made.

7 comments:

Erica BarnesAugust 9, 2009 at 1:16 PM
I will continue to wrestle with you both in prayer that you will keep the faith. I'm sure each moment feels like hand to hand combat with unbelief, bitterness, loneliness. Heather, I love you and wish I could do more for you.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Manda (+2)August 9, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Amen Erica. We're praying along side you. Much Love!
ReplyDelete
Replies
RachelAugust 9, 2009 at 4:35 PM
Came to your blog via Melissa Mailly's blog. I'm so sorry Micah is not with you but am thankful for your great faith and the assurance that Micah is praising His Heavenly Father this day and forever! I know the pain of grieving the loss of a child, though grief is different for everyone. Please know that someone else is lifting you and your family up in prayer today!
Rachel
ReplyDelete
Replies
Margaret GilbertAugust 9, 2009 at 11:48 PM
The day that you were making the toughest decision of your life, my heart was breaking for you. I sat and read my Bible, but only for a short time because the tears came too quickly and forcefully. But as I sat and read, I felt compelled to look up Isaiah 55:8-9 which says:

8 "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,'
declares the LORD.

9 'As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

I can only begin to empathize with the depth of your pain, but I pray that these words bring comfort to you knowing that God is indeed sovereign. I am encouraged that you are holding tightly to His Word, so as not to stumble. Run the good race, my friends! (Gal 5:7) Make Micah proud!
ReplyDelete
Replies
e&eAugust 10, 2009 at 2:15 PM
Hello,

I came here via Tiffany Dykstra's blog. I am so sorry to hear of Micah's home-going. I can not imagine the grief you must be dealing with. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and Micah's story. And his photos. What a beautiful child, a child who lived on this earth not one day less, not one day more than he was supposed to. God ordained his days before time, and I'm sure he lived them well. How awesome it must have been for him to be welcomed home by his heavenly Father...and how hard is must be for you to have to live with his absence.

"In your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there were none of them."
Psalm 139:16

We are praying for peace.
elisa & eric
ReplyDelete
Replies
Nick, Amber & AaronAugust 10, 2009 at 2:23 PM
Hi Heather and Cory,
I am a friend of Reed & Rachael's and I live in Mason City. You have been in my thoughts and prayers every day since we first heard about Micah's accident. It is hard for me to read this, but I know I have to. I recently lost our first child through a miscarriage, and like you mention, day by day is all that we can live right now. It is hard to know someone like yourself has experienced this kind of deep loss too. I suppose 'one day at a time' should be the way we always live, no matter what, but it is a mantra especially in this time. There is no other way to survive. I feel a little connection to Micah and his cousin Asher, as Asher was born the day after my wedding anniversary, and Micah was born the day after my birthday. October is a good month! I pray for you and think of you, even though we have never met. CLING TO THE CROSS! He is ALL YOU NEED! I know in my recent time of grief, the Cross and the Word are all I can read and cling to. I can't imagine going through this without HIM! I'm sure you feel the same way. Please know your son is remembered, even through people like myself who have never met him except through Facebook pictures! Do not be afraid to share your story - God will use you to help others, as I'm sure he's using others right now to help you. Thank you for sharing your deepest anger, sorrow and thoughts. God is good...and He WILL work this out for GOOD!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Nick, Amber & AaronAugust 10, 2009 at 3:00 PM
I also wanted to leave you with the lyrics to "I Surrender All" - a beautiful hymn that I have been singing (mostly in my head) since losing our baby to a miscarriage. This is a reminder that we NOT in control - but GOD IS - and we need to rely on Him, FREELY giving him all we are. May you have hope, Heather & Cory!

All to Jesus, I surrender
All to Him, I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence, daily live

chorus:
I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee, my blessed savior
I surrender all

All to Jesus I surrender
Humbly at His feet I bow
Worldly pleasures all forsaken
Take me Jesus, take me now

(chorus)

All to Jesus I surrender
Make me Savior wholly Thine
Let me feel the Holy Spirit
Truly know that Thou art mine

(chorus)

All to Jesus I surrender
Lord, I give myself to Thee
Fill me with Thy love and power
Let Thy blessings fall on me

(chorus)
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

The Story of Micah's Last Days on Earth

During the week of July 20th, 2009, I (Cory) hired a roofing company to re-shingle our home in South Minneapolis. On Thursday afternoon, July 23rd, Heather went to her sister's house in Edina to avoid the noise and allow Micah to nap per his normal routine. In the early evening, Micah had his usual dinner. He sat in a plastic high chair that was secured on top of a regular table chair. After enjoying his finger foods of chicken and peas, Heather went to the sink to get a cloth to clean up Micah's face and hands.

During that time, Micah was accidentally unbuckled from his chair. As Heather walked back to Micah to wash him up, she watched as Micah leaned forward to touch his toes and tumbled forward, falling head first onto the ceramic tile.

Heather was within feet of Micah and immediately picked up Micah from the floor. Micah cried loudly for about 30 minutes. After about 30 minutes of crying and wanting to be held by his mother, he calmed down. Micah developed a bump above his left eye. Micah also developed a strange cough immediately after the fall.

Heather made several calls to the pedicatrician and to the Children's Hospital emergency room to determine if Micah should be seen and evaluated by a doctor. After conflicting suggestions, Heather decided to take Micah down to the ER to be evaluated. Micah was seen by a resident and a doctor and was checked over for any signs of head injury or other injuries. The doctors determined that Micah exhibited no signs of a concussion or other head injury, and so no head scan was taken. Heather and I informed the doctors of the cough, but the doctors felt that the cough was unrelated to the fall. Heather, Micah and I then went home.

On Friday, July 24th, Micah seemed happy and acted normal. Micah engaged in his normal Friday activities, including going to music class. In the evening, Micah developed a temperature following his normal bedtime. He woke up fussy and was not acting life himself. Heather called the pediatrician and the ER triage nurse. The nurse indicated that the fever was unrelated to the fall, and that if his temperature rose to 105 to bring him back to the ER. After several hours of trying to consol Micah, we decided to bring him back to the ER for further evaluation.

At the ER, the nurse practictioner who was assigned to Micah determined that Micah had developed pneumonia. The chest x-ray showed pneumonia but no signs of further complications. Micah was given an IV antibiotic. He was discharged and given instructions to meet with the pediatrician for an antibiotic shot the following day. The issue of the cough was brought up again; it was determiend that he could has aspirated some food (i.e. swallowed food down his lung) because of the fall. The doctor was not overly concerned about the cough.

On Saturday, July 25th, Micah was seen by his primary pedicatrician. He was given a shot of antibiotic and was further evaluated. It was determined that no further treatment was necessary, but that Micah should be seen by the pediatrician the following Tuesday for an x-ray. The x-ray would determine if the pneumonia had improved. If it had not, the pediatrician should that it would be necessary for a doctor to sedate Micah and use a scope to remove the foreign body from Micah's lung.

On Sunday, July 26th, we were hoping to attend the 11:00 am service at Bethlehem Baptist Church in downtown Minneapolis. Before church, I headed to Target around 9:30 to pick up a prescription for Micah. Micah woke up from his nap while Heather was drying her hair in the bathroom. Micah let out a terrible little cry, and Heather immediately ran into his run. Micah then started chocking, and immediately turned blue.

Heather called 911 and started CPR on Micah. I arrived home and tried to relay CPR instructions from the 911 operator to Heather, who was attempting to resuscitate Micah. Within 1 minute of my arrival, the fire department arrived. The fire department personnel attempted, to no avail, to resuscitate Micah. Within 2 or 3 minutes, the paramedics arrived. They, too, were unsuccessful in attempting to resuscitate Micah.

After about 25 more minutes, Micah was transported by ambulance to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. Heather rode in the front seat of the ambulance. I rode with a police officer in his squad car behind the ambulance.

Once at the hospital, a team of doctors and nurses continued their attempts to resuscitate Micah. We were met almost immediately at the hospital by a social worker and a chaplain. During the next 20 minutes or so, we continued to receive updates that the doctors and nurses were not able to resuscitate Micah. At that time, we were told by one of the head doctors to go into Micah's room and say goodbye to Micah.

As we were walking into the room, the doctors stopped us and indicated that they had been able to finally get a pulse going again. They were also able to incubate him and, with the assistance of machines, get him breathing again. The head doctor apparently made hard chest compression to restart Micah's heart. The doctors immediately cautioned us, however, that because of the length of time that Micah went without oxygen to his brain (about 1.5 hours), he would have permanent brain damage. Micah was then moved to a room in the instensive care unit in South Minneapolis.

Later that afternoon, I was in his room when an Ear-Nose-Throat specialist placed a scope down Micah's lung. There, he found a pea that had collapsed his right lung. The E-N-T specialist was able to remove the pea. At this point, the doctors believe that Micah suffocated on a combination of this pea and the flem material generated by his lung as a result of the pneumonia.

That evening, I asked the nurse in charge of Micah's care whether we should be praying for his recovery or praying for his "going home." She responded, without hesitation, that we should pray for his "going home." Heather and I did not sleep at all that Sunday night. We (along with many others) lifted up many prayers to the Lord asking the Lord to spare our Micah's life.

On Monday, July 27th, Heather and I, along with our families, Pastor Kenny Stokes and our pediatrician met with the head doctor in the intensive care unit to discuss Micah's situation. He indicated that Micah had little to no brain activity, and that he had no chance of recovery. They provided us with the option to remove Micah from life support at any time. At that time, it appeared that he may have had enough brain function to breath on his own if he were removed from the ventilator.

The Lord provided Pastor Kenny with the verse, "Away from the body, present with the Lord." We determined that because Micah would never have any brain activity, it was time for us to say goodbye to our only son, Micah Robert Wessman, so that he could go home to be with Jesus.

All of our extended families gathered in Micah's room. Due to all of the lines and cords coming from his little body, several nurses had to assist in transferring Micah from his bed to my lap. Heather sat in a chair next to me. We sang a number of hymns together, including "Children of the Heavenly Father" and "Jesus Love Me." Heather then kissed Micah goodbye, telling Micah, through tears, to "run to Jesus, sweetie, run to Jesus."

For the next hour, we waited for a local organ donation company to arrive and review Micah's status for organ donation purposes. (We later learned that a child benefitted from receiving Micah's heart valves.) During that time, the doctors determined that Micah's brain functions further deteriorated, and Micah was not able to breath on his own. Apparently, Micah had listed to his mother one last time, and he ran to Jesus.

After meeting with the organ donation company, I went into Micah's room. Also present were my parents, my brother Scott, Pastor Kenny and Tim Gilbert. The doctor and the nursing staff removed all of Micah's tubes. Within a few minutes of having his tubes removed, Micah died in my arms. After a few minutes of holding the body of my son in my arms, my brother read from Romans 11:33-36.

We love our son very much, and always will love him. He will always be our son. It is our strong conviction that after he died, he was received directly into the arms of our loving Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Mourning for Micah

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Strength for Each Day

7 comments:

The Story of Micah's Last Days on Earth

Followers

Blog Archive

About Cory (Micah's Dad)