Sunday, October 26, 2014
Yesterday we held our annual chili lunch with friend and family in honor of Micah’s upcoming 6th birthday. We continue to be so grateful for friends and family who support us in our grief, as well as the Hope for the Mourning ministry. Every day, and particularly on special occassions such as Micah's birthday, we remember Micah for our benefit and the benefit of our living children who did not know Micah during his earthly lifetime. In remembering him, it is not as though we are “fighting” against God and trying to overcome God's plan. It is not as if God’s plan was to take Micah and undo some mistake or that (even worse) God couldn't control the pea that ultimately took his little life. God very much planned his life and his death. God’s plan was, and always has been, that he should live just 9 months, and then have his death impact us in numerous ways, some of which I anticipate will be revealed to us only many years from now. We therefore honor Micah, and God’s plan for Micah, in remembering Micah and in looking to the Lord for the purposes He seeks to accomplish through Micah's friends and family. For my part, while I have not forgotten Micah, I seemed to have forgotten some of the lessons that God taught us in the "early days" of our grief--in those first weeks and months following Micah’s death when all we could do was get out of bed and try to stay upright without falling over from the weakness induced by deep grief. For my part, I have lost that sense of dependency on us that is so crucial to walking, day by day, with our Lord. As we mark Micah's 6th birthday, I would like to honor him by remembering what God did through him initially, which was to induce a sense of utter dependendy upon God. Miicah’s story is essentially God’s story—they are one in the same. Since God took Micah, and as His creator He had the right to do so, we must look to the Lord and follow Him for what He sought to accomplish. While we are more than 5 years out now from his passing, we certainly don’t know many of the reasons, but I think we honor Micah, and his story, to the extent that our family remembers how God was sufficient in our times of our deepest sorrow and helplessness, and apply that sufficiency in our lives again today.