Mourning for Micah: Request from Heather

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Request from Heather

In order to find some joy out of Micah's death, I have decided to begin journaling a list of blessings, small or big miracles, or anything that will make me smile as a result of Micah's passing. I am requesting that if anyone has a story or just a word or two that has brought happiness to any of you as a result of Micah's death, please share it with me! I have been struggling with the tremendous amount of grief and sadness over the past week and a half but I keep hearing little things that bring a smile to my face. Micah brought me so much joy in his 9 months of life and I want to continue to experience that joy even after he has left us! Thank you.

12 comments:

AnonymousAugust 5, 2009 at 5:40 PM
Cory - Heather

I have not yet met you two at Bethlehem, but I am aware of what you are going through from a distance. You are requesting a growing list of blessings that God is bringing through this hard season. Let me comment on one blessing, it is what I call an "evidence of grace". Cory - Heather, here is the blessing, the evidence of grace and it GREATLY strengthens my faith: it is your own words that I find as a blessing, namely, that you are looking for God and His hand of mercy, grace and blessing in the context of pain. Seriously, I cannot understate the significance of this and the quiet joy I have in my heart right now as I relfect on your faith. Let me put it this way: your request is being used by God right now in my heart for the purpose of sanctification. For this I am grateful. This is a blessing. Stay the course, by grace. Hold the line in this season for the honor of our Savior's name, by grace. Struggle forward - with God's help.

Nahum, 1:7
"The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those (Corey and Heather) who take refuge in Him."

Bud Burk
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thipkinsAugust 5, 2009 at 5:53 PM
Good idea, Heather. Here are two from me:

(1) As I've mentioned, it was such a blessing for me to be able to spend so much time with you two last week. Though the circumstances couldn't have been much worse, I can't imagine anything that could've done more to strengthen our relationship. It's not unlike the bond between men who've been in battle together. (That may resonate with Cory more than with you.)

(2) Our three-year-old son, Charlie, prayed a really special prayer last Monday night. Just after I told the kids that Micah had died that day, Charlie asked Jesus, "Please take care of Micah and hold him in your arms." Eve and I were stunned. Neither of us had prompted him. And let's just say he's usually significantly less profound than that. Not sure how to explain it.

I'll keep thinking.
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thipkinsAugust 5, 2009 at 6:20 PM
Here are two more:

- I loved the photographs of Micah. He was a boy of 10,000 expressions! And no question he cherished his mommy and daddy.

- Pastor Kenny's reminder on Tuesday night (during the service planning) that Almighty God is a Father to us struck right at my core. We asked Him to work a miracle and save Micah, but a Father doesn't give His children everything they want. He gives them only what is good for them. That's such a precious truth--and such a pain-filled application.
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Joel ThorpAugust 5, 2009 at 8:46 PM
Heather,

I am a friend of Cory's from Wheaton College -- we played baseball together for a year.

Yours and Micah's story is ministering to a specific need in my life this week. My firstborn son, Luke, died at birth about 20 months ago. Although our circumstances are incomparable to yours, your willingness to share about your grief has helped to bring some of my own grief back to the surface and allows me to both feel that sadness again and then surrender it to God.

Your family has truly blessed me. Thank you.

Joel
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JenAugust 10, 2009 at 1:24 PM
Hi Cory & Heather -

My name is Jen Lee. My husband (Jason) and I live in Ames, Iowa and are good friends with Reed & Rachael (we actually recruited them to go to Turkey with us, but we have not been able to go yet!). We came to Micah's funeral to see and support Reed & Rachael. My life was really impacted by Micah's service. It is hard to know where to start. But, I think primarily it was Pastor Kenny's words to Heather and her sister that this is not about either of you . . . but that it happened for God to display His glory. Being a new mom myself (of a 3 month old we adopted at birth after not being able to have kids for 3 years), that truth he shared gave me so much freedom as a mom. Through Micah's life and death, I now realize very tangibly that it is not up to me to make sure nothing happens to my little boy. And I don't need to worry any longer about something happening to him because of God's sovereignty. I thought I understood God's sovereignty before, but Micah's death has helped me understand it so much more, but more importantly, all the truths shared at the service have helped me REST in God's sovereignty and trust Him more. I was really drawn closer to who God is through our time at Micah's service.

I also want to share that I think it is wonderful you are blogging about your grief process. I will be a faithful follower. I began blogging a year ago about the grief and pain of infertility (which doesn't come close to what you are experiencing), but it was such a good way for me to process my emotions and help ohters around me understand what I was going through (which made me feel loved and supported). I hope your blog will be a great way to help those around you enter in better with your grief as they walk along side you.

With prayers from Iowa . . . Jen
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Nick, Amber & AaronAugust 10, 2009 at 5:53 PM
I'm not sure if this a 'blessing' but might be considered a 'coincidence'/'miracle':

When Micah passed, I thought of another family I know of who had lost a baby. As I continued thinking, I remembered his name was also Micah Robert. He also passed away in an unusual and unexpected circumstance in the month of July, five years ago. I couldn't help but think that if you wanted to contact this family, I could hook you up. They are friends of my best friend, and I could get their phone number or email address. They also have a blog where they share family stories and things, but also write a lot about their Micah. Their blog is http://ericksonsinthepottershands.blogspot.com
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"Snooty" Finn CloseAugust 10, 2009 at 9:03 PM
Cory & Heather:
This is John Holgrimson (AKA Hoagie)-
I wanted to share how I have been touched through this experience in hopes you can see another example of God working through it.
First of all and most importantly, I am truely BLOWN away at how you both (Cory & Heather) have totally relied on God. You have got to be going through unbelievable pain and questions, yet you still trust that God is in control and that it is His plan. I consider myself to have a good relationship with God, but I feel encouraged to grow even closer as I see your example.
Also, I have known the Wessman family for about 9 years. I have learned that the Wessman family not only will come together for some of Karen's AMAZING cooking, but to rally around each other. The way your whole family was there for you two, and each other, really amazed me. Praying, crying, encouraging, sitting silently, singing, and yes I'm sure eating together, but the point be TOGETHER! I'm just truely blessed to know such a solid Christian family that would lift each other up like that and be there (even if that means leaving Turkey, Chicago, or Tomahawk at the drop of a hat to do it).
Lastly, I am the father of a 17 month old girl, Meghan, who I couldn't be more proud of and a 2 week old, Abby, who I already find such joy in. Hearing how you brought Micah up to know God has inspired me to really make sure I'm taking every opportunity in their young lives to allow them to see him. An example is how Cory had been singing through a new worship DVD with Micah on that Sunday morning. I now have been watching worship DVD's with my daughters and choosing to listen to children's worship CDs instead of my "precious" sports radio. Not that those don't honor God, but I've learned from you guys to make the most of every opportunity; including enjoying my daughters needing daddy to walking them after late night/early morning feedings.
I know this has been a lot of rambling; once I started, I couldn't help but let you know how God has worked through this. I appologize for the length of this and any gramatical errors.
Thank you to your entire family for how they bless me and my entire family. We are among the hundreds that still lift you up in prayer.
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Dan OlsonAugust 11, 2009 at 8:55 AM
Micah's picture is on our refrigerator. Every time I see it, I pray that, as is true for Micah, our children will never know a day in their lives when they do not follow Jesus. Micah's whole life was "in Christ". This prayer is his legacy in our home.

Lucy Olson
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UnknownAugust 18, 2009 at 9:37 PM
Nana would like to list 3 blessings she has received through this difficult journey.
The first blessing is the knowledge that people are praying for us. As I wondered how I could make it through each hour, I reminded myself that we had literally thousands of people all over the world praying for us. It was and continues to be overwhelming to think of that many people lifting us up before the Lord. We so desperately wanted to know God was with us so we decided to ask God to show us his presence in little things each day. We were able to find blessings each and every day that week and we continue to name our blessings even as we have gone back to our homes.
Blessing number 2 would be how God has drawn our family together at a deeper level through our grief. We are spread out around the world, but communicate with each other almost daily. Thank the Lord for modern technology! I miss our "group hugs and prayers" but the phone calls are blessings for me and serve as hugs. Praise God for an awesome family who are passionate for the Lord.
Blessing number 3 would be the servant hearts of the many people who have stepped in to help Cory and Heather. Thank you to family and friends who put aside their agendas and schedules for the week and put themselves at our disposal. Sanborn's and Adams, you were a special blessing to us that week. Many of you are continuing to come along side Cory and Heather and allowing them to grieve or serving them. I have learned what it means to belong to the body of Christ. What a blessing to be in His family. Thank you for your outpouring of love.

Nana Wessman
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karlaAugust 29, 2009 at 4:30 PM
Cory and Heather,
I have not met the two of you yet and was just connected to your blog. I weep for your loss and cherish how evident it is how much you love your son. I have been struggling recently with any desire to memorize scripture. I will still read but storing it in my heart is hard. Reading your blog and seeing how scripture is what you lean on, it is what you breath both in times of anguish and joy. I am pregnant now and your love for your son has intensified my prayers that my child would know Jesus only and I would be a sage for him as you were for Micah. Thank you. You are in our daily prayers.
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Allyson LundeenSeptember 8, 2009 at 2:26 PM
Heather,
I have just been reading your blog and am impressed that you are sharing your incredible story. I really believe that we need to share our stories of how God is alive and working in our lives. It is encouraging and inspiring to hear how when difficult situations and trials come our way that God does not leave us or forsake us. He carries us through.
You have chosen to keep the faith and lean on God as well as open your lives to His leading regarding why this has happened. On our own we cannot possibly understand why God moved this way and on our own it is almost impossible to accept. But God's ways are not our ways and past experiences as well as scripture show us that He loves us and leads us in ways that are good for us. God is good!
I think of you everyday and pray that God will lighten your grief and give you many good days ahead.
Through your story and example of faith I feel better able, with the Lord's help, to meet the challenges that come my way. Thank-you.
Allyson Lundeen
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learningmoreSeptember 29, 2009 at 1:01 PM
Dear Heather,
I met you briefly once at Fairview and have since then heard about your son Micah. The Lord has brought your family to mind many, many times and I can't seem to stop thinking and praying for your family. I wanted to thank you and your husband for being so transparent and so honest. Your faith blows me away and I am encouraged in the Lord mightily through your
faith and lives. My husband and I have just had our first child and your journey has taught us so much about being parents that continually rely on the Lord for strength, wisdom, guidance and life. May the Lord continue to be your strength and hope and may the two of you and Micah continue to inspire and encourage many others like myself. God bless you.
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The Story of Micah's Last Days on Earth

During the week of July 20th, 2009, I (Cory) hired a roofing company to re-shingle our home in South Minneapolis. On Thursday afternoon, July 23rd, Heather went to her sister's house in Edina to avoid the noise and allow Micah to nap per his normal routine. In the early evening, Micah had his usual dinner. He sat in a plastic high chair that was secured on top of a regular table chair. After enjoying his finger foods of chicken and peas, Heather went to the sink to get a cloth to clean up Micah's face and hands.

During that time, Micah was accidentally unbuckled from his chair. As Heather walked back to Micah to wash him up, she watched as Micah leaned forward to touch his toes and tumbled forward, falling head first onto the ceramic tile.

Heather was within feet of Micah and immediately picked up Micah from the floor. Micah cried loudly for about 30 minutes. After about 30 minutes of crying and wanting to be held by his mother, he calmed down. Micah developed a bump above his left eye. Micah also developed a strange cough immediately after the fall.

Heather made several calls to the pedicatrician and to the Children's Hospital emergency room to determine if Micah should be seen and evaluated by a doctor. After conflicting suggestions, Heather decided to take Micah down to the ER to be evaluated. Micah was seen by a resident and a doctor and was checked over for any signs of head injury or other injuries. The doctors determined that Micah exhibited no signs of a concussion or other head injury, and so no head scan was taken. Heather and I informed the doctors of the cough, but the doctors felt that the cough was unrelated to the fall. Heather, Micah and I then went home.

On Friday, July 24th, Micah seemed happy and acted normal. Micah engaged in his normal Friday activities, including going to music class. In the evening, Micah developed a temperature following his normal bedtime. He woke up fussy and was not acting life himself. Heather called the pediatrician and the ER triage nurse. The nurse indicated that the fever was unrelated to the fall, and that if his temperature rose to 105 to bring him back to the ER. After several hours of trying to consol Micah, we decided to bring him back to the ER for further evaluation.

At the ER, the nurse practictioner who was assigned to Micah determined that Micah had developed pneumonia. The chest x-ray showed pneumonia but no signs of further complications. Micah was given an IV antibiotic. He was discharged and given instructions to meet with the pediatrician for an antibiotic shot the following day. The issue of the cough was brought up again; it was determiend that he could has aspirated some food (i.e. swallowed food down his lung) because of the fall. The doctor was not overly concerned about the cough.

On Saturday, July 25th, Micah was seen by his primary pedicatrician. He was given a shot of antibiotic and was further evaluated. It was determined that no further treatment was necessary, but that Micah should be seen by the pediatrician the following Tuesday for an x-ray. The x-ray would determine if the pneumonia had improved. If it had not, the pediatrician should that it would be necessary for a doctor to sedate Micah and use a scope to remove the foreign body from Micah's lung.

On Sunday, July 26th, we were hoping to attend the 11:00 am service at Bethlehem Baptist Church in downtown Minneapolis. Before church, I headed to Target around 9:30 to pick up a prescription for Micah. Micah woke up from his nap while Heather was drying her hair in the bathroom. Micah let out a terrible little cry, and Heather immediately ran into his run. Micah then started chocking, and immediately turned blue.

Heather called 911 and started CPR on Micah. I arrived home and tried to relay CPR instructions from the 911 operator to Heather, who was attempting to resuscitate Micah. Within 1 minute of my arrival, the fire department arrived. The fire department personnel attempted, to no avail, to resuscitate Micah. Within 2 or 3 minutes, the paramedics arrived. They, too, were unsuccessful in attempting to resuscitate Micah.

After about 25 more minutes, Micah was transported by ambulance to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. Heather rode in the front seat of the ambulance. I rode with a police officer in his squad car behind the ambulance.

Once at the hospital, a team of doctors and nurses continued their attempts to resuscitate Micah. We were met almost immediately at the hospital by a social worker and a chaplain. During the next 20 minutes or so, we continued to receive updates that the doctors and nurses were not able to resuscitate Micah. At that time, we were told by one of the head doctors to go into Micah's room and say goodbye to Micah.

As we were walking into the room, the doctors stopped us and indicated that they had been able to finally get a pulse going again. They were also able to incubate him and, with the assistance of machines, get him breathing again. The head doctor apparently made hard chest compression to restart Micah's heart. The doctors immediately cautioned us, however, that because of the length of time that Micah went without oxygen to his brain (about 1.5 hours), he would have permanent brain damage. Micah was then moved to a room in the instensive care unit in South Minneapolis.

Later that afternoon, I was in his room when an Ear-Nose-Throat specialist placed a scope down Micah's lung. There, he found a pea that had collapsed his right lung. The E-N-T specialist was able to remove the pea. At this point, the doctors believe that Micah suffocated on a combination of this pea and the flem material generated by his lung as a result of the pneumonia.

That evening, I asked the nurse in charge of Micah's care whether we should be praying for his recovery or praying for his "going home." She responded, without hesitation, that we should pray for his "going home." Heather and I did not sleep at all that Sunday night. We (along with many others) lifted up many prayers to the Lord asking the Lord to spare our Micah's life.

On Monday, July 27th, Heather and I, along with our families, Pastor Kenny Stokes and our pediatrician met with the head doctor in the intensive care unit to discuss Micah's situation. He indicated that Micah had little to no brain activity, and that he had no chance of recovery. They provided us with the option to remove Micah from life support at any time. At that time, it appeared that he may have had enough brain function to breath on his own if he were removed from the ventilator.

The Lord provided Pastor Kenny with the verse, "Away from the body, present with the Lord." We determined that because Micah would never have any brain activity, it was time for us to say goodbye to our only son, Micah Robert Wessman, so that he could go home to be with Jesus.

All of our extended families gathered in Micah's room. Due to all of the lines and cords coming from his little body, several nurses had to assist in transferring Micah from his bed to my lap. Heather sat in a chair next to me. We sang a number of hymns together, including "Children of the Heavenly Father" and "Jesus Love Me." Heather then kissed Micah goodbye, telling Micah, through tears, to "run to Jesus, sweetie, run to Jesus."

For the next hour, we waited for a local organ donation company to arrive and review Micah's status for organ donation purposes. (We later learned that a child benefitted from receiving Micah's heart valves.) During that time, the doctors determined that Micah's brain functions further deteriorated, and Micah was not able to breath on his own. Apparently, Micah had listed to his mother one last time, and he ran to Jesus.

After meeting with the organ donation company, I went into Micah's room. Also present were my parents, my brother Scott, Pastor Kenny and Tim Gilbert. The doctor and the nursing staff removed all of Micah's tubes. Within a few minutes of having his tubes removed, Micah died in my arms. After a few minutes of holding the body of my son in my arms, my brother read from Romans 11:33-36.

We love our son very much, and always will love him. He will always be our son. It is our strong conviction that after he died, he was received directly into the arms of our loving Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Mourning for Micah

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Request from Heather

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The Story of Micah's Last Days on Earth

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