Friday, August 14, 2009

God's Answer to My Anger

I have felt increasingly angry about Micah's death. Angry at the medical personnel. Angry at God. In fact, there are times when I think, "If God would take me now, I would have a few, short questions for God as to why He took Micah's life when He did." I really want to shake my fist at the Lord and ask, "Why?!" Heather and I have so longed for a child. Why did God give Micah to us, only to take him away after 9 months?

In the course of all human history, I am not the only one to feel injustice, pain and sorrow. And I am not the first parent to lose a child to disease, war, murder, or suicide. I've realized that I am not the first parent to have questions of God.

Scripture provides us with a glimpse of whether I even would be able to ask my questions of God.

In Isaiah 45, verses 22-25, the Lord says,

"Turn to me and be saved,
All the ends of the earth!
For I am God, and there is no other.
By myself I have sworn;
From my mouth has gone out in righteousness.
A word that shall not return:
To me every knee shall bow, every tongue swear allegiance.
Only in the Lord, it shall be said of me, are righteousness and strength;
To him shall come and be ashamed all who were incensed against Him.
In the Lord all of the offspring shall be justified and glory."

Only in the Lord are ALL righteousness and strength. As unrighteous as Micah's death appears to me now, someday I will know God's way for Micah, and realize that this way was (and is) supremely righteous. I will not be able to use God's promises of righteousness and strength against him ("A word that shall not return") because I ultimately will see God's righteousness at work in the death of my only son. All who were "incensed" with the Lord through Micah's death will be ashamed.

Instead, immediately upon my perception of God, I will fall to my knees and worship the only true source of righteouness. I will, along with Isaiah say,
"Woe is me! For I am lost; For I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts!" Isaiah 6:5. And with the seraphem, we will worship God for his righteousness, crying out "Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord of Hosts. The whole earth is full of His glory!" Isaiah 6:3.


  1. These are good thoughts, Cory. But I think you can be frustrated with God without also being "incensed" with him. Remember, God became a man, and so he understands your pain. So bring those emotions to him--just be honest with how you're feeling. Still praying for you, my brother.

  2. When a friend of ours lost their child, I was angry with God. That eventually turned into apathy...which, over time, morphed into just being afraid of God as if he were randomly cruel or something. I wish I had turned to His word as you are doing so desperately and appropriately. It's crucial, so crucial to meditate His Word, on the promises we trusted before our belief in them was painfully tested.

    Anger will come over's not even an option. But, taking it to the Lord is. Praying for your and Heather's faith to endure...

  3. Sorry, I feel that I need to clarify my above comments. Basically my point was that I suspect you're being too hard on yourself. You should be free to express a wide range of emotions here--including frustration and anger with God. And I don't think these emotions equate with being incensed with Him. So while the passage you cited is certainly relevant, I'd hate to see it used to stifle the sincere feelings you're having. I hope that makes better sense...

  4. Cory it's been a while since I'v made another comment to your blog. I pray for you and Heather daily. As our Lord Jesus Christ said: "I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. John 5:30 So all we can say is "But God". Not in a questioning way but in thankfulness knowing that His way is just and perfect.
    I know that it is hard right now for you guy's, but the lives you are touching with this blog is amazing and a great testament of your faith. I can't help but believe that God has something Mighty and Marvelous in store through it all.