Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Thank you friends- from Heather

I wanted to write a post to thank you for all of your prayers and ongoing support of us. I can’t even put into words what these past 4 ½ months have been like for us. It has been the worst, unimaginable nightmare. To face this challenge everyday has been the hardest thing in our lives.

At times it feels as though friends and family think that our pain is subsiding and that we have “moved on.” The pain we face has not changed. We continue to cry often and wonder how we are going to make it through the day or even the next couple of hours. I continue to pray my daily prayer for God to help me through the day –to somehow carry me through this seemingly insurmountable suffering so I can function to some degree of normalcy. Attempting to function normally is what Cory and I now call our “new normal”. There are days that I feel so numb and broken that I can’t even do the simplest tasks.

I am so grateful for the friends who continue to call, to email and to check in to see how we are doing. It means so much to us to know that people care and continue to think and pray for us. Cory and I often feel isolated by our grief as many people don’t know how to communicate with us or support us. We have learned that this is common and normal as most people don’t know how to treat people who have lost a love one. Most people, quite naturally, do not like to see anyone hurting, crying or experiencing the pain that we are dealing with. However, no one can take away our pain. Our pain is real and is constant. Our pain does NOT deepen if other people bring up Micah or our grieving; it is with us all the time. It is helpful to talk about Micah and not to forget him. He is our son and we want to remember every moment that we have spent with him. It brings us joy to share with our friends and family our memories of his life and our time together as a family. I would encourage anyone not to be afraid of our tears and pain but to embrace it and help us to remember. Thank you all for helping us through this long journey, we continue to need our friends and family to hold us up and to encourage us daily.


  1. thank you so much for having the humility to remind us, Heather! I have been thinking of you alot this week. I'm sure the Christmas season brings stabs of pain as well as sweet memories. Love you, friend

  2. Thanks for posting, Heather. It's good to read the Mama's words, too. I don't worry about deepening your grief. I worry about being a stumbling block to your faith in my own lament for your son's death, or being offensive in my ignorance...or simply being UNhelpful. I know I'm not in your life, but I read your blog, pray for you and cry over your little boy. I usually don't leave comments because no words bring him back. It sucks so much...being this helpless. I know that we can ultimately rest in God's goodness, plan and sovereignty, but that resting doesn't make it not painful and horrible.

    I think about Micah's sweet life and tragic death daily. I wrestle with God in this. I ask "why" with you. I am so sorry that you're having to live through this pain.

    Maybe we'll meet some time. I imagine going to church is extremely hard (to say the least). But, maybe sometime.

  3. Hi Heather and Cory, I have never been through something like this in my life, but in a diffifult time recently, I reminded myself that I am moving forward, not moving ON. Moving on makes it sounds like I'm forgetting what happened; moving forward just means I have a new normal, and I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, as hard as it is. May God be with you immensely this holiday season, and I am so thankful He has blessed you with new life. Be strong and courageous, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go!

    -Amber, a friend of Reed & Rachael's

  4. Dear Heather and Cory, thank you for sharing your thoughts; they touch me so much. I have some friends who lost their little boy a few months back, and your blog is helping me know how to pray for them and relate to them. My heart breaks for anyone who has lost a child, and I'm humbled to read your incredible journey of loss. May God carry you through this Christmas season, and wrap you in His comfort. Debbie Brockett

  5. Just sending a note to let you know we are praying for you today!!! May it be a day that is not as tough as some!

    In Christ!!

    The Carey's