Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Front Door

I thought I was a going to be a good dad. I planned to do all I could to help my son to become the Man of God I prayed he would become. During his short life, my son loved to get in the pool or the lake and make swimming-like motions with his arms and legs. When I took Micah in the water, I made sure that I would keep his head well above water so that there was no chance of his coughing in water. I loved to take Micah in our running stroller. I made sure that he was properly strapped into the stroller, and that I had a safety strap around my wrist so that, even if I should trip and fall, my son would be safe.

I envisioned a future in which I would help Micah with his homework. Fix his broken bike. Help him with relationship problems or college decisions, financial matters or employment. I wanted to be the “fix-it” man for my son.But on that Sunday morning, July 26th, 2009, I learned that I am absolutely powerless, on my own, to carry out my dream of being the “fix it” man for Micah.

After running an errand to Target that morning, I returned home to find my wife giving mouth-to-mouth to my unconscious son. Just as I began assisting Heather, the medics arrived. It all happened so fast. In that whirlwind of activity, all of my strength, my knowledge, my love for my son didn’t make a difference. My memories of those moments are filled with terror and disbelief. I remember watching with absolute helplessness as our son passed away, 80 plus years before “his time.”

After a half hour of failing to resuscitate my son, it was determined that Micah should be rushed to the Children’s Hospital. Wanting to help, I found myself doing the only thing I could—holding the door for my son who, along with those paramedics, left our house, never to return. Whatever sense of control , strength and self-reliance I had went out that door along with my son.

7 comments:

  1. My heart cannot fathom what you've experienced and words cannot express how sorry I am. Praying for you tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  2. we are crying along with you. we continue to offer our tears and prayers and broken hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So so sorry for you Cory and Heather!! Praying and crying with you tonight. Wish I could give out hugs over the web right now!

    ReplyDelete
  4. we continue to lift you up with tears before our heavenly Father. our hearts feel so broken for you. We will continue to pray for His peace and presence to be near to you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sharing tears with you right now and praying for the Lord's comfort.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for sharing your memories of and hopes for Micah. May you experience God's tangible presence as you grieve. -Linda R.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cory and Heather,
    Please know that both of you ARE good parents! God wouldn't have entrusted you with Micah otherwise. He is wise in ways we just do not understand sometimes. Praying for you tonight! We are sorrowful with you still! We carry you with us each day.

    Chris & Angie Carey

    ReplyDelete