Monday, October 26, 2009

A Glimpse of Joy- From Heather

Ever since Micah’s death, Cory and I have been crying out to God and seeking His direction for our future. We have struggled with finding joy and seeing God’s goodness through all of this horrific pain and suffering. The only thing that Cory and I could imagine that would bring joy back in our lives would be to have more children.

God is good. God has been listening to our cries and prayers for our future. We recently found out that we are expecting our second child. It has been quite a surprise to both of us as we anticipated another long journey of miscarriages and infertility.

We found out that I was pregnant a day after one of our worse days of grieving Micah. I was feeling like there was no hope and no reason to continue on in this painful world. I cried out to God to take me home to be with Micah. I also cried out with anger toward God questioning his goodness. Cory remembers me asking angrily, “God, why are you so mean to me? ” and “Why have you taken all of my joy away?”

The day that I found out I was pregnant, God’s goodness was evident to me. I was both guarded, emotionally, as well as surprised. I knew that this was God’s way of clearly showing me that “joy will come in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5). I continue to struggle with a rollercoaster of emotions: from the grief of missing Micah and knowing that Micah will not be here with us to meet his new sister or brother, to the terror of the possibility of losing another child, to the thrill that we will have more children. Despite all of the feelings, I see a glimmer of hope to continue on living. I know that Micah would want us to trust in God’s plans for our future.

Two weeks ago, as I was getting ready for my 8-week ultrasound to see the baby’s heartbeat, I opened up my daily devotional reading. It was no coincidence that the verse for that particular day’s devotional reading was from Philippians 4:6, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. I have clearly heard God’s voice during these past several weeks. He has called me to trust Him and to give all of my fears and anxiety over to Him. I continue to pray that God will give me peace in trusting in his promises for my life and our future family.

I continue to mourn and grieve Micah’s loss each day. My pregnancy does not lift my heavy heart. My pregnancy has, however, given me a glimpse of joy and hope to go on living—to wait patiently until God takes me home, when I come face to face with Jesus and my precious son, Micah. Oh, how we long for that great reunion!!


  1. Dear Cory and Heather,
    Oh, how I feel so much joy in my heart for you right now. I am SOOOO thankful for this new life, and I pray this week as you celebrate new life and Micah's life, that God would show His goodness and mercy and grace and joy to you in a way you've never known before. Isn't God good?! I am so happy for you!!

    (a friend of Reed and Rachael's from Mason City)

  2. Amazing news!
    David and I are so happy for you both!
    Philippians 4:6 is such a rock in my life as well.

  3. That is wonderful news! We are rejoicing for this precious life that is growing inside of you. We pray that God will continue to be evident in your joys and sorrows. Praising God for his infinite mercies!!

    (friend of Reed and Rachael's)

  4. To God be the glory! Praising God with you and praying for you. (I often preach Phil. 4:6 to myself, over & over.)

    Jess W.

  5. Dear Cory & Heather,

    Thanks be to God for the miracle of new life and life eternal! And thank you for sharing your joy (and sorrow) with me through this blog.

    Even as Micah basks in the presence of perfect love, I pray that same love will continue to grow in your hearts and in your family until that Great Day when you all are reunited.

    Grace & peace,

  6. Cory and Heather!!
    We mourn Micah along side you and now we REJOICE along side you as you welcome another amazing blessing from your Father!!! We will pray over you and the new baby for peace and health!!!

    Chris & Angie Carey

  7. That is amazing! Thanks for sharing - we will be praying for a healthy new baby too.

  8. congrats to you guys! so excited for you

  9. Congratulations, Cory and Heather. I also clung to Phil 4:6 during my own second pregnancy after a scary first delivery. It is not easy to take this step after such tremendous loss, but He is faithful to carry the burdens we give to Him. Blessings to you both.
    Natalie Dixon Burchit (High School friend)

  10. Congratulations Heather and Cory. I know Micah is never far from your minds (or anyone elses). I am so happy you are beginning to feel some joy. Your second child is truly a gift from God.
    Kelly Everson

    What wonderful news!! I know you must be filled with so many different emotions right now (and to follow). But what a beautiful gift to be given to you when you were at such a difficult point in your grieving. A reason to have a smile, a reason to feel some happiness and excitement in your lives. Micah would want that! Thank you for sharing this Heather. This is wonderful news!
    Love, Chris

  12. Cory and Heather,

    The McGuire family still grieves, prays, and hopes with you. We love you all dearly. May God be glorified through your suffering and joy.

  13. Heather and Cory -

    I have been distant from your website and am "catching up" on all of the beautiful words through the two of you! Congratulations on your new life you have created! Oh how happy I am for you two! Stay strong through this time! I am praying for you.


  14. Thank you for expressing such raw emotions. It is encouraging to read your transparency. Congratulations. We will continue to pray for growing family. In Christ alone our hope is found- Amanda McAlpine, from Church