Mourning for Micah: October 2010

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Second Birthday

We miss you, Micah, our first born son
Another year without you on your birthday
We wish that our life here, with you, had just begun
That God had not taken you away

How I would love to see
Your eyes turns bright and wide
As you open a gift from me
And to see you giggle at my side

How I would delight in you, my son
To see you smile, walk and then run
To hear your voice again, or just your cry
And together watch the years go by

But I am stuck here in this world
So far from Heaven, from God’s glory fully unfurled
Not able to see what awaits
Beyond our graves and Heaven’s pearly gates

Oh, how we wish we might
Be free from this sin and death
And in the land of unending delight
With you, my son, with life and breath

For while my gifts for you would one day break
I can only imagine what gifts you now receive
From God, who loves to give and make
Such wonderful gifts for you, we can hardly conceive

Gifts large and small, just for you
Through Jesus, who makes all things new
Even after everything that went wrong, when you fell
We know that Jesus has made you well.

So while we can’t sing you a birthday song
We hope and pray it won’t be long
‘Till we laugh and play and sing together
And marvel at God’s love and mercy forever

Monday, October 11, 2010

Micah's Legacy, Part VI: God Owns It All

Sixth, Micah’s death has taught me that God really does own it all.

Over the past year, we have sometimes struggled with God’s power and Micah’s death. God, if you are in control of all things, then why, God, did you allow this to happen? If you are in control of all things, then we did you allow our child to die? If you could have stopped him from dying, then why didn’t you? Doesn’t that make you like a murderer, God? If you took life, when you could have saved it, doesn’t that make you a murderer? Are you a murderer, God?

When we turn to scripture we find that, unlike a murderer, who has no right to take the life of our son, God does have the right to take life. In scripture, we see that plain truth that God has the right to take Micah’s life not just because he is in control of all things, but because he owns all things. In Job 41: 11, God tells Job, “Everything under heaven belongs to me.” Even when we live like God isn’t around, or when we think we can do anything with “our” money or “our” kids, that doesn’t change the fact that God does indeed own everything.

After God took everything away from Job, Job continued to praise God. In the midst of his sorrow, Job said, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21. Nancy Guthrie says, “Evidently Job, long before, had figured out that his extreme wealth and blessing not only came from God but also were still God’s, while Job himself was just a steward.” Nancy Guthrie, Holding on to Hope, p. 23.

Indeed, Pastor Skip Heitzig says, “We don’t own our children. They are entrusted to us from Him, but we are only stewards of them. And since God entrusted them to us, He may decide at any time, to say, “I want them now, and I’ll take care of them from now on. I’ll surround them with My special love and mercy. I’ll give to them so much more than you could ever provide. That’s His prerogative as Sovereign God.” Skip Heitzig, Jesus, Friend of Children, p. 21.

This coming saturday night, Pastor Kenny Stokes will, Lord willing, dedicate Owen to God. Here are the words of dedication:
“Owen Robert Wessman, together with your parents you love you dearly and this people who care about the outcome of your faith, I dedicate you to God, surrendering together with them all worldly claims upon your life in the hope that you will belong wholly to Jesus Christ, forever.”

It is difficult, really difficult, to surrender "all worldly claims" upon our little son's life. Our natural inclinition is to holder tighter, not looser, to Owen because he know that it is possible that God would take Owen, just as He took Micah. But through Micah’s death, I have come to understand that Owen, like Micah, is owned by God. We want control of our son's life. We want ownership of him. But God has staked a claim to him. In our better moments, when we can really take into account what is best for Owen, we wouldn't want it any other way. Our hope, in forsaking any worldly claims upon Owen's life is that Owen would belong wholly to Jesus, just as Micah is now wholly with Jesus.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Marathon Fundraiser Update

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and financial contributions towards my fundraising efforts for the Micah Wessman Foundation as I ran the Twin Cities Marathon this past Sunday, October 3rd, 2010.

Here is my update:

1. Last week, I was informed that I was chosen as a "Face in the Crowd" by the organizers of the marathon. The "Face in the Crowd" program highlights the stories of 4 people participating in the marathon. Last Friday, I took part in a press conference at the St. Paul convention center in which I was able to share about Micah and our desire to help grieving parents through the Micah Wessman Foundation.

2. As part of the Faces in the Crowd program, I was interviewed for the Twin Cities Marathon television show, which will air at 7 pm this Thursday night (October 7th), on Fox Sports North. I pray that, somehow, my interview and the information shared about the Micah Wessman Foundation would be passed on to some grieving parents. I hope to post the interview to the blog, once I obtain a copy of it.

3. Between donations and additional pledges, we have been able to raise $3,534.70 to date for the foundation! We are so grateful for friends and family who have encouraged us in our ministry through their generous contributions.

4. I was able to finish the marathon in a personal best time of 3 hours, 32 minutes, 25 seconds. http://www.mtecresults.com/runner/show?rid=3879&race=177. It was a tremendous experience. The weather was ideal. I knew every part of the race course, having run all parts of the course at various times over this past spring and summer. There were approximately 11,000 people who started the marathon, and an estimated crowed of 300,000 people turned out to watch the race in Minneapolis and St. Paul. Thanks to all who prayed me through the run on Sunday morning!

Heather and I continue to be so grateful for friends, family, work colleagues, neighbors, and others we barely know who have showered us with kindness in so many ways. Thank you.

The Story of Micah's Last Days on Earth

During the week of July 20th, 2009, I (Cory) hired a roofing company to re-shingle our home in South Minneapolis. On Thursday afternoon, July 23rd, Heather went to her sister's house in Edina to avoid the noise and allow Micah to nap per his normal routine. In the early evening, Micah had his usual dinner. He sat in a plastic high chair that was secured on top of a regular table chair. After enjoying his finger foods of chicken and peas, Heather went to the sink to get a cloth to clean up Micah's face and hands.

During that time, Micah was accidentally unbuckled from his chair. As Heather walked back to Micah to wash him up, she watched as Micah leaned forward to touch his toes and tumbled forward, falling head first onto the ceramic tile.

Heather was within feet of Micah and immediately picked up Micah from the floor. Micah cried loudly for about 30 minutes. After about 30 minutes of crying and wanting to be held by his mother, he calmed down. Micah developed a bump above his left eye. Micah also developed a strange cough immediately after the fall.

Heather made several calls to the pedicatrician and to the Children's Hospital emergency room to determine if Micah should be seen and evaluated by a doctor. After conflicting suggestions, Heather decided to take Micah down to the ER to be evaluated. Micah was seen by a resident and a doctor and was checked over for any signs of head injury or other injuries. The doctors determined that Micah exhibited no signs of a concussion or other head injury, and so no head scan was taken. Heather and I informed the doctors of the cough, but the doctors felt that the cough was unrelated to the fall. Heather, Micah and I then went home.

On Friday, July 24th, Micah seemed happy and acted normal. Micah engaged in his normal Friday activities, including going to music class. In the evening, Micah developed a temperature following his normal bedtime. He woke up fussy and was not acting life himself. Heather called the pediatrician and the ER triage nurse. The nurse indicated that the fever was unrelated to the fall, and that if his temperature rose to 105 to bring him back to the ER. After several hours of trying to consol Micah, we decided to bring him back to the ER for further evaluation.

At the ER, the nurse practictioner who was assigned to Micah determined that Micah had developed pneumonia. The chest x-ray showed pneumonia but no signs of further complications. Micah was given an IV antibiotic. He was discharged and given instructions to meet with the pediatrician for an antibiotic shot the following day. The issue of the cough was brought up again; it was determiend that he could has aspirated some food (i.e. swallowed food down his lung) because of the fall. The doctor was not overly concerned about the cough.

On Saturday, July 25th, Micah was seen by his primary pedicatrician. He was given a shot of antibiotic and was further evaluated. It was determined that no further treatment was necessary, but that Micah should be seen by the pediatrician the following Tuesday for an x-ray. The x-ray would determine if the pneumonia had improved. If it had not, the pediatrician should that it would be necessary for a doctor to sedate Micah and use a scope to remove the foreign body from Micah's lung.

On Sunday, July 26th, we were hoping to attend the 11:00 am service at Bethlehem Baptist Church in downtown Minneapolis. Before church, I headed to Target around 9:30 to pick up a prescription for Micah. Micah woke up from his nap while Heather was drying her hair in the bathroom. Micah let out a terrible little cry, and Heather immediately ran into his run. Micah then started chocking, and immediately turned blue.

Heather called 911 and started CPR on Micah. I arrived home and tried to relay CPR instructions from the 911 operator to Heather, who was attempting to resuscitate Micah. Within 1 minute of my arrival, the fire department arrived. The fire department personnel attempted, to no avail, to resuscitate Micah. Within 2 or 3 minutes, the paramedics arrived. They, too, were unsuccessful in attempting to resuscitate Micah.

After about 25 more minutes, Micah was transported by ambulance to Children's Hospital in Minneapolis. Heather rode in the front seat of the ambulance. I rode with a police officer in his squad car behind the ambulance.

Once at the hospital, a team of doctors and nurses continued their attempts to resuscitate Micah. We were met almost immediately at the hospital by a social worker and a chaplain. During the next 20 minutes or so, we continued to receive updates that the doctors and nurses were not able to resuscitate Micah. At that time, we were told by one of the head doctors to go into Micah's room and say goodbye to Micah.

As we were walking into the room, the doctors stopped us and indicated that they had been able to finally get a pulse going again. They were also able to incubate him and, with the assistance of machines, get him breathing again. The head doctor apparently made hard chest compression to restart Micah's heart. The doctors immediately cautioned us, however, that because of the length of time that Micah went without oxygen to his brain (about 1.5 hours), he would have permanent brain damage. Micah was then moved to a room in the instensive care unit in South Minneapolis.

Later that afternoon, I was in his room when an Ear-Nose-Throat specialist placed a scope down Micah's lung. There, he found a pea that had collapsed his right lung. The E-N-T specialist was able to remove the pea. At this point, the doctors believe that Micah suffocated on a combination of this pea and the flem material generated by his lung as a result of the pneumonia.

That evening, I asked the nurse in charge of Micah's care whether we should be praying for his recovery or praying for his "going home." She responded, without hesitation, that we should pray for his "going home." Heather and I did not sleep at all that Sunday night. We (along with many others) lifted up many prayers to the Lord asking the Lord to spare our Micah's life.

On Monday, July 27th, Heather and I, along with our families, Pastor Kenny Stokes and our pediatrician met with the head doctor in the intensive care unit to discuss Micah's situation. He indicated that Micah had little to no brain activity, and that he had no chance of recovery. They provided us with the option to remove Micah from life support at any time. At that time, it appeared that he may have had enough brain function to breath on his own if he were removed from the ventilator.

The Lord provided Pastor Kenny with the verse, "Away from the body, present with the Lord." We determined that because Micah would never have any brain activity, it was time for us to say goodbye to our only son, Micah Robert Wessman, so that he could go home to be with Jesus.

All of our extended families gathered in Micah's room. Due to all of the lines and cords coming from his little body, several nurses had to assist in transferring Micah from his bed to my lap. Heather sat in a chair next to me. We sang a number of hymns together, including "Children of the Heavenly Father" and "Jesus Love Me." Heather then kissed Micah goodbye, telling Micah, through tears, to "run to Jesus, sweetie, run to Jesus."

For the next hour, we waited for a local organ donation company to arrive and review Micah's status for organ donation purposes. (We later learned that a child benefitted from receiving Micah's heart valves.) During that time, the doctors determined that Micah's brain functions further deteriorated, and Micah was not able to breath on his own. Apparently, Micah had listed to his mother one last time, and he ran to Jesus.

After meeting with the organ donation company, I went into Micah's room. Also present were my parents, my brother Scott, Pastor Kenny and Tim Gilbert. The doctor and the nursing staff removed all of Micah's tubes. Within a few minutes of having his tubes removed, Micah died in my arms. After a few minutes of holding the body of my son in my arms, my brother read from Romans 11:33-36.

We love our son very much, and always will love him. He will always be our son. It is our strong conviction that after he died, he was received directly into the arms of our loving Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Mourning for Micah