How we are saved?

In my capacity as an estate planning attorney, I have the honor of providing some guidance as to how remaining assets are distributed to and among family members, friends or charities following death. Recently, I worked with a client who expressed a desire to provide a certain amount of assets to the church for the purpose of saying "masses" on behalf of herself and deceased family members. This client wants to name numerous churches as the recipients of certain sums, with the hope that each of them would say a sufficient number of masses that would "save" her from enduring purgatory. Her questions prompted me to give some thought to how we are saved, and what assurance we can have for Heaven, following death. Below is an excerpt from a recent response to this client: ...Our recent conversations regarding purgatory and your hope of heaven prompted me to review the Holy Bible, and its teachings regarding how we are “saved” from purgatory and to an eternal existence with God. Since both of us share a belief in the Holy Bible as the infallible and authoritative Word of God, I pray that it may be helpful to pass along some encouragement to you from the Bible about the hope we can have for eternal life. In particular, I wanted to pass along the words from Hebrews 7:26-28. There, the author says, “For it was indeed fitting that we should have such a high priest, holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens. He has no need, like those high priests, to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins and then for those of the people, since he did this once for all when he offered up himself. For the law appoints men in their weakness as high priests, but the word of the oath, which came later than the law, appoints a son who has been made perfect forever.” In this passage, the author of Hebrews is contrasting the sufficiency of Jesus Christ as our high priest with the “imperfect” nature of anyone but Jesus. In the Old Testament times, priests were appointed within the nation of Israel to serve as mediators between Israel and God. However, because each and every one of these priests was imperfect, so also this entire system suffered by reason of the fact that the mediators were imperfect. In some sense, the ability to be “heard” by God was dependent upon the ability (or more likely, fallibility) of the priest himself. In contrast to these Old Testament priests, as well as the imperfect ability of any of our fellow saints of the faith, now in heaven, consider the absolute perfection of our new mediator, Jesus Christ. The author of Hebrews notes that, because of how perfect Christ is as our new mediator, we need no one else, even if the mediator in question has been canonized as a saint, to have the assurance of being “heard” by God. If you believe in Jesus Christ as God, if you believe that he took the penalty of death on your behalf, then His sacrifice on your behalf is already perfected. There is no need to have the church offer additional masses on your behalf. Your desire to make gifts to the church following your death is itself a laudable desire. However, neither these gifts nor your lifetime of good deeds will be sufficient to avoid purgatory. The Bible clearly teaches that no amount of good deeds cause us to gain God’s approval. (See also Ephesians 2:8-9). If these actions and deeds were sufficient, there would have been no need for Jesus Christ to be condemned as a sinner and die a terrible and agonizing death on the cross. It is Jesus Christ who will save you from punishment following death, not your good deeds or the prayers of any saints. If you believe in Jesus Christ as your savior, you have a Great High Priest. If you have such a Great High Priest, then both now and in the very waning moments of your earthly existence, you can be free of any anxiety of whether you are accepted. Because Jesus now stands as your Great High Priest and ready to receive you as His child, you can have complete assurance of where you stand before Him.

Overcoming Anxiety

There is no end to the list of things for which we, as parents, can worry about on behalf of our children. Especially for those of us who have lost children, we seem to find every reasonable opportunity, and many unreasonable ones, to worry about our children. Whether in parenting, work, or even ministry, we can lose sight of the “big picture.” We can lose sight of our relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ, in the midst of life’s busyness. I have recently been impacted by the reconciling of two passages found adjacent to one another in Luke 10. First, Jesus give us the parable of the Good Samaritan. Jesus shows the person whom the audience would least consider to be a “righteous” person, the Samaritan, to be the one carrying out God’s law, and not one of the two types of people that the audience would expect (either the Levite or the priest). Specifically, the Samaritan was “good” because he was carrying out God’s law by taking action on behalf of a distressed neighbor. Second, in the very next passage in Luke 10, we are provided a glimpse of an interaction between Jesus, Martha and Mary. Martha welcomed Jesus, his disciples and perhaps numerous others into her home. While Martha was busy providing for Jesus and all the other visitors, Mary sits at Jesus’ feet, enjoying fellowship with Him. In light of Jesus’ teaching on the Good Samaritan, one can easily resonate with Martha’s concerns expressed here. Like Martha, we ask Jesus, “Jesus, I am loving my neighbors and taking action by serving you and our guests. Jesus, can’t you tell her my lazy sister Mary to “take action?” In this teaching moment, Jesus unravels Martha’s motives, as well as our own. Jesus tells Martha, “you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.” In her social and historical context, she certainly would have been expected to wait upon these guests. Mary demonstrated a love for Jesus and His presence by shunning these social pressures and seeking that one thing that is necessary—to love Jesus and commune with God. Without the centrality of Jesus Christ in our lives, our “to do” lists become so overwhelming that we lose sight of the very purpose for which we are undertaking our “lists.” The point of the story with Mary and Martha is that we are called to love God first, and then only after centering our affections in Christ leverage that affection for God into action by loving our neighbor. Like Mary, we ought to be mindful of everything that we put in our own lives to “busy” ourselves, so that we do not lost sight of that central love which should captivate our hearts—a love for Jesus. Otherwise, we will suffer from numerous and various forms of unnecessary anxiety. To name three: (1) We think we have to take certain actions, on our own, or else these tasks will not get done. But while God certainly uses us, God says that He does not need us. God is able to accomplish more than we can ask or think. Ephesians 3:20. While we think our own actions are indispensable, God’s ways are above ours. (2) We are inpatient in waiting on an answer from God, and try to take matters into our own hands. But only when we “let go” will we receive the very things that we seek from God. “We are anxious about what we will wear and eat. And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. …your father knows that you need them. Instead, seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” Luke 12:29-31. (3) We push tomorrow’s problems into today. We wonder how we will pay for future expenses, for college, or deal with a spouse’s illness. Because all “these things” will be added to you whether we are anxious or not, “…do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.” Mathew 6:34. Are we like Martha, constantly striving to do our “duty,” as we think of it? As we do our self-perceived duties, we take on more and more, and often lose sight of relationships in our midst. In particular, we can lose sight of the fact that our loving our neighbors as ourselves only comes from and after our relationship with Jesus. Let us not lose sight of our love for Jesus and, by reason of His great love for us, our need to rest from anxiety and busyness.

A Silent 7th Birthday

Today is Micah's 7th birthday. Heather, the kids and I honored his birthday today with a trip together to the cemetery, pizza, and birthday cake. The very suffering we are experiencing precludes us from answering some important questions. When we experience health issues, or relationship issues, we can draw upon the strength of others, or the support of our community. And we can often quite easily see or experience the practical implications of God's working this suffering for good-whether within our life or the life of the person who is suffering. But with a deceased loved one, we have birthday parties without the most important person in attendance. We cannot ask, or have answered, the questions we are dying to know: Micah, how are you? Do you know about your brothers and sister? Micah, do you even celebrate your birthday in Heaven? Can you eat cake? What did you eat for your birthday? Did you have friends "over?" If so, what are their names? In general, it has been a relatively quiet day today--not a lot of singing. And yet, as my mom reminded me this morning, we are called to sing (praise) Him, even when we don't feel it. "I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me." Psalm 13:6. On Micah's 1st birthday in 2009, we were just beginning to "unwind" from the shock of his death. Now, six years later, we have begun to see how wide the waves of impact that his life and death have had on us and others. We can't sing about missing Micah, or about his death, but we can sing in the sure hope of seeing him again, and ultimately knowing about all that God accomplished through his short life.

Hope for the Mourning Event This Week

On Friday, October 2nd, we will hold our annual “Micah Party” celebration. As in each of the previous 6 years since our son Micah’s death, we have gathered friends and family members to remember Micah and grieve his passing. We typically hold this event on the last Saturday in October to correspond with Micah’s birth (Oct. 30). This year, we moved the date of the event up in the year to correspond with what has become another annual tradition—a spaghetti feed for the “Hope for the Mourning Running Team” and their families. In each of 2012, 2014 and again this year, we have entered a team of runners in the Twin Cities Marathon family of races. Each of the runners is asked to raise funds on behalf of Hope for the Mourning. This year, we have a total of 27 runners who have all committed to raise funds on behalf of Hope for the Mourning. We are so grateful that these runners and their families would take the time and effort to not just train for and run in the races, but also commit to raising funds on behalf of Hope for the Mourning. Those Served: Over the past few years, the traffic on our website has continued to increase. In our age of social media, website traffic can quickly increase exponentially. In our case, the number of “hits” on our website has surpassed our expectations. We are grateful for the opportunity that the website provides us to share the good news of Jesus Christ to those website visitors. We have reason to believe that most of the visitors to our website are either grieving parents or friends and family members of grieving parents who are seeking guidance as to how to help fellow grieving parents. Once on the website, these visitors find a link called “request care package.” This link allows the visitor to request a care package either for themselves, if they are the grieving parents, or on behalf of the parents they know. This care package includes three books on grief written from a Biblical perspective, two restaurant gift cards, and some additional information, depending upon the location of the recipient. We also provide a response card to allow the grieving parents to follow up with us. We ultimately want to come alongside them, even if only be phone, to grieve with them, pray with them, and try to encourage them wherever they are in their walk with our Lord Jesus Christ. The Responses: Heather and I, along with our other board members, wish that we could meet with each of these grieving parents individually. Even in the absence of face-to-face interaction, however, we have been encouraged by numerous responses that indicated that the packages are impacting families. Please allow me to quote a few of the responses we have received: “…We received the Care Package you sent after losing our son, James, at 21 months. We were so touched to receive such a kind gift. The book I found to be most comforting was “Holding on to Hope.” It came to me just when I needed it most—during a very difficult & grief-filled week…We would like to donate $500 in his memory… We are so grateful for the work you are doing in honor of your little boy, Micah.” “We received the care package…What an incredible gift and such an encouragement for our family. It’s comforting to know that there are others out there who understand our grief. We are so grateful for the books you sent along in the package. Your ministry is so incredible and we are thankful for it.” “I'm grateful to you for the books and restaurant gift cards. I am reading anything I can get my hands on that may help so I appreciate that. [I had lost faith in God after our daughter passed, but now believe that God may have allowed it for a purpose.] Also as you know, cooking is the last thing on your mind. I haven't cooked an actual meal since before [our daughter] passed. Our Financial Need: The number of families served continues to grow every year. The numbers of parents served has increased from 72 in 2013, to 116 last year (2014). Already this year, we have sent 135 care packages, which puts us on pace for more than 160 care packages. By reason of the costs of the books, the restaurant gift cards ($75 worth in every care package), and shipping costs, the average care package costs approximately $100. We therefore have an annual budget of approximately $16,000. Thanks for Financial Contributions: As it relates to our annual fundraiser, we want to thank our runners and their families. We also want to thank five different companies, whom we consider our “Corporate Sponsors” of this event. Through the generous contributions of these five companies, the costs of the annual Marathon fundraiser has been covered in full. As we finalize the collection of our individual running sponsorships, we have been blessed to be able to tell our runners that all contributions received are going directly to Hope for the Mourning. These corporate sponsors are: Strong Tower Wealth Management, Church Mutual Insurance Company, Emergent Networks, Plantscape, and Erickson & Wessman. Should you wish to make a contribution, you can do so either by paying through paypal, on our website, or by personal check. Our mailing address is 5930 Lone Lake Loop, Minnetonka, MN 55343. We continue to be so grateful for friends and family members like you. We will not know, this side of eternity, how meaningful your support has been to us. None of us will know the extent of the impact that little pea had in clogging the throat of a boy. It is with mixed emotions that we state we are so grateful for the connections we have made with many of you—friendships that have been formed and forged only by reason of the deepest human grief possible. We love you and your friendships, and look forward to the day when God will fully redeem and restore us. On that day, we will have it all, for we will have these deep and lasting friendships, and we will have our children restored to us as well. Thanks again for your support. Cory and Heather Wessman

Was It Me?

In the immediate aftermath of Micah's death, both Heather and I struggled with whether God was punishing us for our own past sins by taking Micah from us. The Lord used the words of our pastor to encourage us through, among many other words of scripture, the precious words of Jesus in John 9. When asked by his disciples why a certain man was born blind, Jesus responded, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." But what does it mean that God's works will be displayed through the suffering of the blind man, and through Micah's (untimely) death? Does it have anything to do with us? This past year, I have been greatly humbled by physical suffering, as I have written about previously. Through that suffering, God has shown me the degree to which I have grown self-sufficient, self-indulgent and even self-aggrandizing. Praise God, he has intervened in my life so as to keep me from a path of destruction. Physical suffering changed my course to make me dependent on God. In this matter, I have been blessed to see that God's intervention is indeed an act of love. Hebrews 12:6 says, "The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is ultimately for God's glory that God will use life circumstances to make me into a more Christ-like follower of him. I am indeed one of the many reasons why the Lord took my son Micah--but it was not for past sins, but for future glory. Our past sins have been wiped clean by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross. God is not requiring an additional blood sacrifice by taking your child or my son. But one of the ways that God demonstrates his own glory is through how He uses suffering to change the day-to-day lives of those who claim Him as Lord and Savior. If you trust in Jesus, you can be assured that God will use life circumstances to make you more like him. I pray that all of us would use sufferings, large and small, to recenter our lives on the glory of God and seek to understand the works He is accomplishing through our lives.

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

A few weeks ago, we marked 6 years since our little boy went "Home" to be with Jesus. As one may gather from the picture, our days are filled with lots of love and laughter by reason of the activities of our three living children (Owen, 5; Brendan, 4; and Kinsley, 2). For us, like so many fellow Christians grieving the death of a child, we love in an age of apparent contradiction. We are, in Paul's words, "...as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." 2 Corinthians 6:10. While the waves of grief are shallower, and less frequent, then they were a few years ago, we continue to grieve. We face the realities of death "head on," not ignoring grief, or pretending that grief does not significantly impact us in so many ways. From the outside, our lives are filled with many good things. Heather and I feel blessed by three living children of differing abilities and interests, a fun neighborhood, a busy law practice, and good physical health. But the absence of our oldest son from our family creates a "hole" in our lives and in our affections. No matter how otherwise "happy" we think we can be, we recognize that we will never be truly satisfied on this side of eternity. It will not be until we see Jesus that these "holes" will be filled. For this reason, Paul can say that any Christian, regardless of his or her circumstances, can be rejoicing, since one's ultimate source of happiness and joy comes from our relationship with Jesus. For us, and I know for many other grieving parents, the ongoing blessing of a "missing" child is the continual reminder that this world is not our true home, and that we long for that day when we will be welcomed home. Until that day, we look ahead in both sorrow and joy.

Suffering as Mercy

Heather recently attended a women's conference with one of our favorite authors, Nancy Guthrie. Guthrie knows more than most about suffering, herself having lost two children. At the conference, Guthrie made the point that we should not be so quick to judge God's ways, and that death should be viewed as mercy to us and our children. If we believe that our children who die in Christ are bound for eternity, then isn't it merciful of God to allow them to "skip" the rest of an earthly existence filled with so much pain, heartache, cancer, bankruptcy, idolatry, and immorality? In Mark 13, Jesus makes a similar point to his disciples about the suffering surrounding the destruction of the temple that he predicted, and that would come to pass a few years later. "And if the Lord had not cut short the days, no human being would be saved." The implication here is that the existence or absence of earthly suffering should not be our ultimate goal. Physical, earthly death is mercy from God because it allows us to avoid eternal, spiritual death if our physical death occurs when we (or our children) are found in Christ. If our ultimate goal in life is God and a relationship with Him, the question is not why God allows for any suffering, but why he doesn't bring more? If God has allowed one of our children to die, why He has not also taken our other children or our own lives? I think the answer is that because God knows just the right "mix" between sufferings and physical comforts, that allows us to grow in our love for him without losing heart. The Apostle Peter encourages the early church to rejoice in their relationship with Christ, even through physical suffering, because through this suffering they will experience, the genuineness of their their faith will improve, just as the quality of gold improves when refined by fire. 1 Peter 1:6,7. Through the suffering we experience on earth, and which God mercifully sends, we can continually re-orient our lives around the true and ultimate goal of our lives, knowing God and being found in Jesus. In the absence of suffering in my life, I would not have the ability to refine my own love for God in the manner God has provided through suffering. "Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:8,9.