A few weeks ago, we marked 6 years since our little boy went "Home" to be with Jesus. As one may gather from the picture, our days are filled with lots of love and laughter by reason of the activities of our three living children (Owen, 5; Brendan, 4; and Kinsley, 2). For us, like so many fellow Christians grieving the death of a child, we love in an age of apparent contradiction. We are, in Paul's words, "...as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." 2 Corinthians 6:10. While the waves of grief are shallower, and less frequent, then they were a few years ago, we continue to grieve. We face the realities of death "head on," not ignoring grief, or pretending that grief does not significantly impact us in so many ways. From the outside, our lives are filled with many good things. Heather and I feel blessed by three living children of differing abilities and interests, a fun neighborhood, a busy law practice, and good physical health.
But the absence of our oldest son from our family creates a "hole" in our lives and in our affections. No matter how otherwise "happy" we think we can be, we recognize that we will never be truly satisfied on this side of eternity. It will not be until we see Jesus that these "holes" will be filled. For this reason, Paul can say that any Christian, regardless of his or her circumstances, can be rejoicing, since one's ultimate source of happiness and joy comes from our relationship with Jesus. For us, and I know for many other grieving parents, the ongoing blessing of a "missing" child is the continual reminder that this world is not our true home, and that we long for that day when we will be welcomed home. Until that day, we look ahead in both sorrow and joy.
